just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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