new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
