based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
