I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
