remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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