I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
