Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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