went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
