If i come over, it means nothing
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
