First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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