I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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