If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
