He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
