Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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