I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
