I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
is it fun? or sober?
I think i got beer on your cat.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
