Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
