I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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