See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
