i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
