omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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