i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
