you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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