Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
