i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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