And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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