My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
