Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
