i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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