Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
