The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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