I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
