Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
two words...techno handjob
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
