He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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