One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
