Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
