Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
