the day after is always just damage control
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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