My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
