I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Another day, another engagement, another cat
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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