I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
