So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Damn victory sex feels great
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
