Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
