my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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