okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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