They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
