Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
