What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex