i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.