coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups