Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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  (908): my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue. http://tfl.nu/njsp
  Replies (20) Good night (4032) Bad night (816)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me

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  (515): They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me http://tfl.nu/jqeo
  Replies (30) Good night (1945) Bad night (5965)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (51) Good night (15701) Bad night (4185)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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  (226): This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon http://tfl.nu/4pbx
  Replies (43) Good night (14485) Bad night (2488)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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  (504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p
  Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (956)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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  (937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr
  Replies (11) Good night (2541) Bad night (1726)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (1037)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

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  (386): Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line. http://tfl.nu/hznj
  Replies (10) Good night (872) Bad night (1689)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof

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  (907): Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof http://tfl.nu/yowz
  Replies (5) Good night (1318) Bad night (501)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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  (740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk
  Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (811)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you

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  (914): It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you http://tfl.nu/ff5c
  Replies (8) Good night (1563) Bad night (429)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

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  (330): She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water? http://tfl.nu/897n
  Replies (2) Good night (1287) Bad night (438)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back

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  (203): A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back http://tfl.nu/hy98
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (425)
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  (818): View more from California

  My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..

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  (818): My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight .. http://tfl.nu/dmyo
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (287)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.

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  (360): for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful. http://tfl.nu/ufjr
  Replies (4) Good night (453) Bad night (282)

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