Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

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  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (775) Bad night (3745) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again

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  (740): There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again http://tfl.nu/gd8v
  Replies (15) Good night (4542) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

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  (301): The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me. http://tfl.nu/hdf0
  Replies (56) Good night (562) Bad night (5541) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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  (847): This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/au8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3940) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night

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  (814): it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night http://tfl.nu/ia2t
  Replies (4) Good night (2829) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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  (217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd
  Replies (3) Good night (2130) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday

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  (808): some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday http://tfl.nu/capv
  Replies (1) Good night (1600) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.

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  (859): I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke. http://tfl.nu/mdh7
  Replies (6) Good night (572) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"

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  (603): My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage" http://tfl.nu/888s
  Replies (2) Good night (1698) Bad night (516)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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  (330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee
  Replies (5) Good night (1528) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...

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  (913): Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen... http://tfl.nu/fq09
  Replies (15) Good night (837) Bad night (2039) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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  (716): Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them. http://tfl.nu/pe21
  Replies (9) Good night (2025) Bad night (687)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  Why don't we hang out more often?

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  (940): I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2. (1-940): Why don't we hang out more often? http://tfl.nu/7whw
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (347)
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  (805): View more from California

  Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"

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  (805): Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out" http://tfl.nu/3yx5
  Replies (7) Good night (466) Bad night (946)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs

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  (205): Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs http://tfl.nu/afix
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt

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