exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
