The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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