Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
