I am puke
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
