I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
