Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
