IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
