Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
