Will you blow on my dice?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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