WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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