its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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