I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
