Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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