it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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