i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My bed smells like the plague
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
